The other day I was asked “How Do You Co-parent?”. I paused because I honestly didn’t know what to say.
So I told her that in our case we would have loved to just have had a consistent visitation schedule with his daughter without the Biomom interfering. It would have been great if the Biomom would have repected my husband’s relationship with his daughter.
I also commented that the Biomom sets the tone for the step family. They have the power to either embrace that another woman or to destroy her by whatever means she sees fit. Even if that means mentally abusing the child(ren) involved.
Biomoms know that this woman has chosen to love a child that isn’t hers. This should be a simple fact to realize. However, some Biomoms are threatened by the Stepmom.
Stepmoms are sometimes a threat to Biomoms without even trying to be a threat. Sometimes the Stepmom is hated by the Biomom for a reason. This is often a reason that the Biomom refuses to talk about.
I’ll let you in on a secret though. The Biomoms who have no reason to hate the Stepmoms are the ones who are hurting on the inside. They are broken inside. These are Biomoms who refuse to heal themselves.
So unfortunately the Biomoms are great at projecting their anger towards the Stepmom because it’s the easy thing to do.
It’s easier to place blame on someone else instead of taking responsibility for what’s really going on. It’s easier to accuse the new woman of cruel actions towards the child than it is to face the music.
Stepmoms who deal with a toxic Biomom understand how it is to be the target of someone’s anger. This could have been avoided if the Biomom could have set a better tone for the step family.
I absolutely admire the Biomoms who actually place a positive tone for the step family. This is a much better environment for the children to grow up in.
Co-parenting is when you place the best interests of the children before your hate towards the ex and the Stepmom. Co-parenting is when you set a healthy tone for your child’s step family.