Well, I don’t have the answers for you because I’m trying to figure that one out. My dad died exactly one month and five days after my hysterectomy surgery.
I haven’t been able to process his death because I’m focusing on my recovery from my hysterectomy surgery. I know he has died. But I emotionally do not want to process it right now.
Maybe I’m being selfish but I don’t think so. I’m giving myself time to heal from the pain that I’m already dealing with. I think it’s okay for me to focus on my own personal grief right now.
My dad and I were never close because of his abuse towards me. So that’s a whole different thing pertaining to this death versus other deaths I’ve dealt with. This is a separate battle all on its own.
I’m pretty much having to navigate through these two major life events while my husband is standing beside me waiting for me to tell him what I need from him. I honestly don’t know what I need because life is tough and sometimes there’s no fixing it.
My husband and my youngest sister have been a lifesaver during this time. These two people have been a wonderful support system through it all. It’s been very difficult months and they have both stood by my side.
They have also supported me with my choice of putting myself first. I have talked with them both about placing my personal grief before my dad’s death. They both agreed that this is a good choice and they have supported me during this.
Sometimes you have to focus on yourself. You can’t do everything at once. It’s not a healthy thing to do mentally. You have to take care of yourself mentally and physically. It’s okay to put yourself first.