I’m going to be honest here and say something that not all of you will understand. I am not trying to give myself a pity party. However, I am acknowledging and accept this surgery.
I have to say that having a full hysterectomy at 34 sucks. It’s down right depressing. I feel empty inside and no matter how I look at it, my body still feels odd to me.
On the upside though, I’m still maintaining one thing that I’m glad I didn’t lose. Through this difficult situation and trying to navigate my way through this, I find myself tossing out those humorous moments.
My sister and I were on the phone the other day and I said something witty. She laughed. I commented that
“They took my ovaries but they didn’t take my sense of humor.”
During difficult times my sense of humor is still here. I say humorous things even during the darkness. It’s what I do. It’s who I am. You have to find something funny during dark times or things will be difficult.
Being humorous during bad times doesn’t mean you’re not taking things seriously. It means you’re not allowing your dark moments to fully take over your mind.
This is a dark time for me. Parts of my body that I identify my body as a woman was taken from me. This has been something that is still bothering me. If I can for one moment not to be sad about it, then I should enjoy these humorous parts.
Noticing little things about myself that I did prior to my full hysterectomy and I am still that way makes me feel relieved. I still have parts of myself that’s the “old me” before I had my surgery.
I’m so thankful that I can make others laugh still. I’m glad my sense of humor wasn’t taken from me.
I hope you are able to find a laugh during your darkness too.